The Diary of a Beginner Runner

My internal thoughts and arguments as I ran my first 3.2km in 8 years!

100m – Okay, got my water, got my music, on my treadmill, feeling good. Let’s do this!

500m – Heavy breathing, starting to sweat, still feeling good! I just ran half a kilometer, yay me!

1km – Alright, it’s getting hot now. This is starting to hurt, but I’m still doing okay. I should put up some pictures of hot girls to keep me motivated on the wall. You want to look like them? Keep going!

1.6km – This is where I’ve normally stopped in the past, but I’m only half way, ugh. Don’t think about it, you can do it. Keep going!

2km – Woo! I’ve run 2km! It hurts though, and I’m so sweaty I feel like I’ve rolled around in baby oil! It’s getting hard to breath, but I’m over half way. Push Laura, Push!

2.2km – Oh god! Cramp! CRAMP! Man up Laura! No stopping, keep going!  But it HURTS! Shut up and run! Stop making excuses!

2.6km – Okay, can I stop now? My cramp has spread to both sides and it hurts! It’s so hot that it’s hard to breath, and I’m as slimy as a fish! Run! You never used to quit. You never used to make excuses. You’re almost there, just finish! Keep going!

3km – Om my god, I’ve run 3 kilometers! Only 200 meters left! Second wind is here. Sip of water, sneaky fist pump, and try to sing breathlessly to the music. Nope, too hard, no singing. Run, run, run! Almost there! Push it out!

3.2km – Done. I’ve done it! I’ve just run 3.2 km for the first time in 8 years! No quitting, no breaks. I’m hot as hell, I can hardly breath, and I’m sweatier than a sumo wrestler in a sauna, but I did it!

Before and After the Run!

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