Alright, I left off with Mike’s* Mom not bothering me anymore, the police looking for Mike to charge him for breaching the DVO, and Mike still harassing me. The context of his messages varied drastically. One message would be him saying how much he loves me, one would accuse me of not being the loving person he thought I was, one would be threatening me “You forgot how many people I know. You chose to be nasty to me! You lose….”. Just a mixture of these messages, constantly.
I wasn’t responding to anything, and I wasn’t answering his phone calls. He’d switched his settings on his phone so that my phone would say Private Number when he called. I downloaded a app that allowed me to record phone conversations. I use my phone for work, so I needed to answer calls, I couldn’t just ignore them. Whenever a private number would call, I would hit record before answering. Most of the time it was someone else. Sometimes it was him.
I’d put in to amend the DVO from Good Behaviour to No Contact, but with the police unable to find him since he’d been evicted, they couldn’t serve him with the papers. Then the messages stopped. A whole week went by. Then I got a phone call from the courthouse. They’d picked up him, I don’t know why or how, perhaps they ran his licence at a random stop, perhaps he got into a fight and the police came, who knows.
I was told that he’d been charged with the breach, which he plead guilty to, and they’d granted my No Contact DVO. That was it. I didn’t hear from him again.
I was happy. I was so happy in my life, and so happy in my new relationship with Tony. Things were great. Then one day, I opened up my Facebook Messenger and noticed that I had a message request. When someone who isn’t friends with you on Facebook sends you a message, it goes into message requests. It’s sort of hidden, and you don’t get a notification, I’d only stumbled upon it by accident. I opened it up.
I’m not contacting you to cause you any problems or anymore grief.
I’m contacting you in regards to poor Floyd (the dog that I’d let Mike keep). He’s been staying with a friend of mine for the past few months now, hoping that Mike was going to take him back, but he’s not. I feel like I have been left trying to re-home Floyd as I haven’t had much to do with Mike since he moved.
I re-homed the cat (Zoe, who I gave back to him), but I feel so sorry for Floyd and am sending you this message as first option if you would like your lovely dog back?
If so, please let me know.
I was at work when I saw this. My heart was racing. Seriously?! I can have my dog back? I started crying at my desk. Not just a little crying, I was properly crying. I don’t think I’d ever been so relieved and happy in my life.
I messaged her back. I told her that I absolutely did want him, that I was so happy. I thanked her profusely. I apologized that I hadn’t seen the message sooner, but because it was hidden in my message requests, I didn’t see if for 7 days.
The message I received back absolutely broke my heart and turned my happy tears into tears of unbearable pain.
She’d already re-homed him. She wasn’t going to give me the details of where he or Zoe went.
I could physically feel my heart hurting. I became desperate and essentially begged her. Nothing, she wasn’t budging. I felt everything just slip away. They were gone.
I continued to talk with her. I hoped that maybe if she knew the situation, because god knows, Mike wouldn’t have told her the truth, and she could see that I’m a good person, she might change her mind. It didn’t. I cannot express to you how much this hurt me, and still hurts me to think about. To have been so, so close, and to have missed my chance to find them, all because some stupid app hides messages from people who aren’t your friends. My heart is still broken over this, I’m teary now while I’m writing.
I did find out a few bits of information from her though. In a previous chapter I spoke about a woman that Tina* caught Mike telling that we’d broken up before we had, and he used to hang around the shop that she worked at to talk to her. This was that woman. She told me that Mike left Floyd with her when he “moved” (was evicted). He asked her to look after him until he could find a place to live, and she agreed. At the same time, he was taking Zoe to the pound. He wasn’t even going to try to keep her or re-home her, just take an older cat to the pound, just give up on her, knowing what they do to older cats there.
The woman said no and took Zoe as well. She found her a home straight away. She or her friend continued to look after Floyd while her contact with Mike became less and less. He wouldn’t answer the phone or return any of her messages. He wouldn’t buy food for Floyd, and she was left out of pocket to care for him.
When he did speak to her, he just spewed lies, like usual. He told her that he owned $1.2m worth of earth moving equipment. He told her that I left him because of his depression.
She told me that he knew that she was going to re-home him for 2 months before she actually did. 2 months that he could have gotten his act together to get him back, or to contact me (the No Contact DVO had only been in place for a week at this point), or have someone else contact me to take him. I TOLD HIM, THAT IF HE COULDN’T TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, THAT I COULD AND I WANTED THEM, AND THAT FUCK JUST ABANDONED THEM.
She told me that, after she told Mike that she was going to re-home him, she received a text message. It was Mike’s sister (because, you know, it’s totally logical to text someone from someone else’s phone instead of using your own), saying that Mike was in the hospital after having a heart attack, and asking her to re-home Floyd. A week later Mike told her that he was working in Mackay.
Our conversation ended with her suggesting that we catch up for coffee. I said that I would love to. The next day she had blocked me.
I cried that whole day. When I finally pulled myself together, I went to print something for work, and a colleague started talking to me. I started crying, right in front him. I wore my sunglasses the whole way home, trying to hide my tears behind them, although I’m sure they were useless. I cried at home, I cried that night. I was hurting so much, more than I ever thought possible.
It might be a little messed up, but I am more angry and hurt about what Mike did to those animals than anything that he ever did to me. I just think about how they would have felt when he abandoned them. How can someone be so selfish? He couldn’t bother to get his ass off the couch and go get a job to support the animals that he wanted to keep.
Below is something I wrote in the days following. I never sent it, for obvious reasons.
There are not enough words to describe what a bad person you are. You are a lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful, lying, abusive, and disappointing asshole. You lie through your teeth to take advantage of people, you’re no better than your mother.
You kept animals from someone who could actually take care of them, knowing that you COULDN’T take care of them. You were too lazy to get off your ass to get a job and take care of your responsibilities, got evicted for not paying rent, and then ABANDONED those animals. And when the woman you dumped them with tried to contact you, you LIED and told her you’d had a heart attack. Instead of giving the animals to the person who actually wanted them and cared about them, you purposely abandoned them to hurt her. Those animals loved you and trusted you, and you just dropped them and ran, you betrayed them.
You should be sterilized so that you can’t have children, because there’s no doubt that you would do the same thing to them. The amount of pain and suffering that you deserve is indescribable, unmeasurable. With the number of people, and now animals, that you’ve hurt, betrayed, lied to, or abandoned, you deserve it all back three fold. Karma is a bitch, and I can’t wait until she catches up with you. Everyone you encounter deserves to know what a bad person you are. They should be warned so they can get away before you hurt them too.
You act tough all the time, but you’re not tough. Praying on and abusing the woman you supposedly love is not tough. Not manning up, but pussying out when your animals need you is not tough. Your “mental illness” is a cop out. You were given everything, taken care of, and loved, and you used your “depression” as an excuse to be lazy and take advantage, because that’s all you’re good at, taking advantage of people.
The truth will come out, and people will know. You’ll just continue to lie, and the stupid ones will believe you, until you hurt them, and then they’ll know the truth. The smart ones will heed my warning and stay away. Nothing is worth the pain and drama and absolute bullshit you spew out onto others. I hope you feel like the piece of shit you are every day for what you’ve done. For the way you’ve treated people, the horrible things you’ve called those who cared about you, and mostly for abandoning two animals that were depending on you, that loved you. I hope it hurts your heart to think about how devastated they were when you left them and never came back, and they were left wondering where their Dad went. I wish they could understand English so someone could explain to them then it isn’t their fault, that their Dad is a deadbeat asshole. But they’re left wondering what happened. Fuck you.
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*Please note, his name has been changed, although he doesn’t deserve any sort of protection or privacy, and I’m sure that most people reading this already know who he is. It wouldn’t be difficult for those who don’t, to figure it out. Still, I have to do the right thing so this doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass.
*Other names may be changed as well to protect them from retaliation.
If you’re dealing with abuse please reach out. Your local Domestic Violence Hotline can help guide you, and you’re more than welcome to get into contact with me to talk.