Diary

Motivation Struggle Street

Well, I got sick, and missed all of last week, so I restarted “Week 2” this week. I’m sore, I’m still recovering from being sick, and I’m feeling bloated, because…. Reasons.

So this week hasn’t been the easiest. I caved and had a second cheat meal, and if my muscles weren’t killing me right now, I would feel as though I hadn’t made any progress this week. It’s just been a hard week. Lots of cravings, no energy, and no motivation. All I can do it keep pushing and hope things will pick up soon.

I’ll have my next weigh in tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll see some results and that’ll help with my motivation. Also next week, my “reasons” won’t be an issue, and I’m sure that will help. Right now I’m bordering on the lightest I’ve been in the last 8 years, and I just keep reminding myself that I don’t want to go back to where I have been, I want to keep making progress. It’s like I’m up against a wall at the moment, and I don’t want to turn around, I want to break through.

I’m only 7kg away from my upper goal weight. My goal is to be somewhere between 55kg and 65kg, although, I don’t know how heavy I’ll actually be with muscle and less fat. I’m not so focused on the number on the scale, I just want to like what I see in the mirror, and it’s finally starting to resemble that. So, I just need to keep going. I just need to suck it up, stop bitching, and make this shit happen for myself.

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